Some days you stub more than your toe...

I apologize for placing my body parts on my blog post. It's just been that kind of week. I really whammed my poor toe. Poor me.

I think my biochemistry is a bit off, I've been down and doubting myself a lot. 

I've been looking for studio space and think I have found something that will work really well. I'm just waiting for the final ok from the owner. Cross your fingers. This space has not one, but 3 beautiful windows, and a sink and cabinets in one room. It's also on top of an Indian restaurant so it should smell good. I think the owner doesn't really care what I do there as long as I pay the rent. The other space I applied for felt like applying for a juried art show. It sort of creeped me out. I guess I wasn't the right "type" of artist for their space... and then I looked at Clay Space which was WONDERFUL. Friendly people, great energy, but the studios were only 10x10, too little for me. 

I am looking forward to getting on the bus and going to work in the studio most days.

I guess we all have a bad day now and then followed by something nice happening. 

Love to all and thanks for reading.

Alice are you there???

I'm a little embarrassed about this painting. I keep wanting to apologize for her existence. I want to apologize for not being able to make her "right". 

And then out of the blue I remembered that I have to love my paintings into existence. I have to have ultimate faith in them. I have to know without a doubt that I cannot be the judge who says if they get to appear on the blog or not.

I really do love her and the yellow blob.

Who knows anything? Certainly not me.

LOVED seeing D and C at the museum tonight...

What's Percolating?

What is happening with my new life?
1. I'm still making coasters. If I get frustrated or tired painting I sit down and make these little collage paintings. I have a LOT of them now. Someday I want to see them all up at once. I think they would cover the good part of a wall by now.
2. I'm struggling with going to bed at a decent hour. This is an ongoing saga for me, my switch "turns on" about 11pm and I could last til 4 am easily. But, I like the morning too and really want to walk early in the mornings and paint for a few hours.
3. I wake up excited sometimes. This is a GREAT feeling.
4. I love books. I love to have dedicated time to read.
5. Just because I'm not working doesn't mean that all my bad habits have gone away. It's just easier to work on them and try to get somewhere.

Whining in the Dark

I was happy here. I was at the end of my residency in Vermont and all my drawings were all around me. All three visiting artists told me how good I was and I was just pretty happy. 

One of those three artists told me that when I stopped working and became a full time artist I would have to figure out what my work was about... maybe he meant find out what your focus is? I can't really put my finger on what he meant because I have always made art with my eyes closed. Meaning, I just make it and decide what it means later. But there is a place for thought in this process. A theme? I read this thing that made sense somehow... "for a painting you have a person and a place and weather and time and history". I think that what that man meant was that for every drawing I made there could be an expansion, more of the story, more of the environment...

So tonight I'm happy and sad. I'm discovering something I need that I don't know what it is. Not much makes sense in the art world right now. More to come...

New painting

I just finished a novel about Emily Carr. It made me think about artists who not only don't get support, but are ridiculed because they were different. It's amazing any of these artists kept painting at all. This painting just plopped onto the panel while I'm playing push and tug with the "real" (translate big) painting I'm working on. Sometimes not thinking so much yields better results...

Snow Day

We had about 8 inches of very heavy, wet snow. Poor Simon could not figure out how to relieve himself. 

Good thing his doggie mom is there to get him warm and dry!

The Mark Rothko Exhibit, Portland Art Museum

Watching Mark Rothko's paintings change... little by little as I went around the room they became simpler until they became the giant color field paintings he is best known for.

Evolution. 

I have a new job. Studio painter. I like it a lot but I don't know how to do it yet. Maybe in a year? A lifetime?

I love the colorfield paintings. They make me cry. Every time.

I also cried about living in a time when there were no good medications for depression. How this man must have suffered. 

I love my new job, even though it's a mystery so far.