Learning lots

Most of my coasters lately have some of the type showing through, and my paint application is getting looser. Not better, just different.

The numbers are from a kit I got when I got married. You were supposed to stick them on gifts to keep track of them! Mind you this was 39 years ago and I kept them all that time!

How did I know to save this stuff? 

My theory is that my "stuff" was saved to track my life and to reconcile the disparate parts in the only way I know how, through art. I wonder Dean, if music is the same for you?

Cardboard Family

It's 5:55 am and I'm catching up. I've cleaned the pantry, flea combed the dog, and cleaned out a couple drawers. Not sleeping well? Yep.

I feel like I'm learning in leaps and bounds. 

Here are a few things I'm finding out:

1. YouTube has great instructional videos. I'm currently watching those on printmaking, trying to re-orient myself to the processes.

2. I make the same mistakes over and over in my big paintings. I may be beginning to "get it".

3. I love the color of cardboard. Can I translate that into a painting?

Now I'm starting to yawn, going to go back to bed. Everyone have a good weekend. I'm going to see the last Twilight movie with my BFF.

Trying something old to get started...

I've been wanting to start printmaking again, but feel like I don't know how. It's been a couple years since I worked with the press.

 

We saw the art exhibit at the Seattle Art Museum, all women's work. 

There was one piece that was pages from a notebook, all simple drawings. 

 

This is probably the easiest way to make a print.... ink up the plate, put a piece of paper face down on the inked surface and draw. When you peel off the paper the lines show and a bunch of misc. ink also.

 

I like her  a lot. 

Did I mention I printed these on some old stationary and pages of a learn shorthand notebook?

Alice, you still there?

Linda? you too? 

I miss you both.

Now I am Sixty!

I went on a little trip with Ginger for my 60th birthday and we had such a good time!

Three nights in Portland and then 2 nights in Seattle.

It was rainy and dark early and very wintery, but all the lights in the city were beautiful.

 

We went to Powell's twice. I love wandering around on all the different floors.

These globes were made from recycled paper and looked great.

 

There is something so inspiring seeing what creative people make.

This tree was made of paint by number strips, and decorated with little paint by number paintings. 

Portland is full of wonderful shops where everything is handmade.

And then we got to Seattle and had such a great time with Kristin and Tom and Cathie and David and Scott. David surprised me with the most delicious caramels I had ever eaten. 

We saw the show at the Seattle Art Museum, and ate YUMMY food.

 Then on the way home we stopped in Portland and went to Crafty Wonderland which was full of zillions of booths of handmade things and amazing artists.

I got to meet a friend Michele Maule face to face. We had only corresponded via our blogs and Etsy. It was so amazing.

 

So, I got very inspired which is a great 60th birthday present!

yes...

My friend Susan gave me her mother's high school annual. I cannot cut it up. It is a treasure of images and ideas. I love this woman and imagine her in many ways... with her companion and under scrutiny in case she was "different". 

Happy Monday.

Having Fun, pretty much...

I'm experimenting with a combo of magazine faces, then collage, then drawing with ink, and then paint. It's really fun. And I'm working on cardboard so it's not precious. It's about process.

My latest self-deprecating voice is now telling me that I am working too slowly, that I have had the studio for 7 months now and I haven't gotten enough done. I am rolling my eyes because I just got rid of the "who do you think you are" voice and now a new one clamors for my attention. Believing in oneself and self confidence is an ongoing project. 

Hope everyone is well and happy!

I'm in this show at the Jacobs gallery!

Please come to the opening: Friday, Nov. 30th at the Jacobs Gallery. It would be great to see you. 

My painting in the above card is in the third row, second from the right, the man holding his hat. I made 12 small paintings for this show.

It's nice to be in a show...

Ongoing practice

A piece of paint here, an experiment there, it doesn't matter with my coasters. They are my practice arena. My sketchbook. I don't waste any paint when I'm working, the odds and ends go on the coasters. I complete 5-7 each week. 

Have I said I love my studio lately? I do, I love it.

Thinking about...and doing experiments

I have been experimenting with people made up of magazine faces, paper and paint. I think I'm on to something, but not really sure what that might be. 

 

These are all the same person. I wrote job occupations next to each figure. This one says "cow".

and then there is the thinking... I am turning 60 in a few weeks and keep wondering what to do to celebrate my birthday. A party? A trip? Nothing feels quite right.

And then I realized that I didn't need any of those things because I have EXACTLY what I have wanted for so long right now. I have the ability to work and work and work at my art. This feels like such a luxury. I can get all lost in do I deserve this or who do I think I am, but when I think about my birthday, I feel so happy at this present I have been given. I spent a whole afternoon (in between letting dogs in and out) pasting, drawing and painting. It is way enough of a birthday present.

Phew...

  Quote for the photo above
 " Harvey enjoyed his ceremonial duties. Here Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon, founders of The Daughters of Bilitis, the first national lesbian rights organization, are being presented with a Certificate of Honor from the City and County of San Francisco. From left to right are Del Martin, Supervisor Harvey Milk, Phyllis Lyon, Supervisor Carol Ruth Silver and Supervisor Ella Hill Hutch."

Our leaders, our heroes and 40 years later we are still fighting for our rights.

I didn't miss having civil rights until I had good solid lesbian self-esteem. It took a long time to get past protecting myself from getting hurt and reacting against those who would spew hate against me. And then I woke up.

I watched on video as Mitt Romney told a Vietnam vet that he couldn't marry his partner. And I know he believes that we are less than. I am so grateful I don't have to look at his face for four years. I couldn't respect someone who wanted believed that the LGBTQ community is less than.

For this lesbian... I understand it's politics but to me the personal will always be political.

Go Obama, I wish you the best.

And on this election day I honor our leaders both living and past: Harvey Milk, Del Martin, Phyllis Lyon, Barney Frank, Billie Miracle, Betty Willis Brooks, Ellen DeGeneres and on and on.

Catching up

This is my friend Skye Gilkerson. She is one of my Kimmel Harding Nelson sisters. (We were at the same residency in 2010). Skye is an amazing artist and is living in Brooklyn, working in lower Manhattan. Her studio was flooded with 6 feet of water during the storm and she lost everything. I know she has great friends to help but... it just put such a reality face on the effects of the storm. Skye, you are the best and I'm sending lots of love as well as all my friends who read this.

Quote from Skye (via FB) 
" The slimy carcasses of my bookshelf. Six feet of water in the studio and not much was salvageable. Still, I am feeling warmed by all of the concern and help, and am ready to clean up and move forward."

And on a different topic this is my new sketchbook. It's an old binder that I glued back together and filled with junk paper. I glued a little plastic envelope to the inside cover to hold my business card. Thanks Cathie and Scott, I love it!

Studio life

Late afternoon, dark clouds and sun streaming through red and gold leaves. I have quite a view up here on the second floor. 

 

Today I had the boys to keep me company. Monty bumped me with his head every couple hours... "out, out". It is good for me to move around.

I'm finishing up the last 3 of 12 small paintings for the "Small Treasures" show at the Jacobs gallery. I keep making coasters. I'm possessed by making these little compositions. 

But, I think I need more naps, more reading, more research, more Chai tea, and more messing around.

We miss you already...

On Sunday we lost our dear friend Barbara to a long illness. We are very, very sad. Over the last few years we visited almost every day, shared meals and parties and a huge garage sale. People say how nice it was of us to help Barbara, but they don't understand. It wasn't that way at all. Putting out Barbara's trash can in exchange for  telling her about my life and having her listen and ask questions? I was on the winning end of that deal. 

Barbara was such a strong woman. She was tiny in stature, but resilient and determined. What did I love about her? The way she truly listened to me and to everyone she knew. The way she always remembered details about my life and asked me about them. Her sense of humor... huge. The way she cherished her family. That she loved Monty, my dog. I could go on and on.

When we moved here I was so happy to begin to know this woman who didn't have an ounce of homophobia, but just wanted to know us and understand our lives.

Ginger and Barbara were the best of friends and I was lucky enough to ride on the coat tails of their relationship. I already miss you so much Barbara.

Love, Janice

Happy Birthday Ginger!

Tomorrow we celebrate Ginger's 66th birthday. Happy Birthday my sweetest heart!

Simon, (the little white bichon) made this painting to let her know what he is thinking about!

In love

I wish you could see her in person...

Friends will be with us for the next week so no studio time. I made up for it this week. Painted and painted. 4 out of 12 small paintings done, I think.

Jentel (artist residency in Wyoming) asked me to come next week for a month! I'm on their alternate list. Couldn't go though... G is going to Florida and no one to watch the puppies. I really wanted a spot at that residency. I'm trying to look on the bright side that they thought I was good enough for the alternate list.

And how is your studio practice going?

When I was at Vermont Studio Center, visiting artist Timothy Hyman came to call on me in my studio space. In the last few weeks I have thought many times of something he said to me... "when you have a full time studio practice you will have to come face to face with what it is you are doing/want as an artist". At that time when studio time was something that happened in short pressured hours with much urgency I believed that I would always know my direction. By the time I got into my studio I was usually ready to explode with pent up energy and worked without a lot of thought. 

Is that good or bad? I think it was just the way it was. And now it's different. I've been working 25-30 hours a week in my little art haven. Here are some of the thoughts that have come into my head over and over.  I try not to dwell on negativity, but since ignoring my thoughts did no good I am now writing them down and looking for answers.

1. Why do this? What good is something you don't get paid for? 

2. Who do you think you are? (my personal fave)

3. You can't do anything as good as the works you have done in the past. (even if the past was yesterday!)

The list goes on, but you get the idea. 

I've been reading Squeak Carnwath's book, Painting is No Ordinary Object.  I have loved her paintings for a long time, but the essay in the book is really good. Many quotes to ponder that address all of the above questions and my incessant doubting mind.

"A painting reveals, covers and uncovers. It is the archeology of the mind. It is about the cosmology of the soul." -Squeak Carnwath

I have a large white piece of paper on the wall where I write down things and draw pictures. Yesterday I wrote: "I hope someone sees my painting and stops and imagines a story".

Teeny sketchbooks made from junk paper

 

I like making sketchbooks out of junk paper. This one was teeny, only about 2 inches square, held together with staples and duct tape. The cover is discarded magazine covers.

When you have something that is made from nothing then you don't worry about making perfect drawings. I think he looks like Peter DeFazio, but he isn't...

Speaking of magazines if anyone has old fashion or interview magazines they don't want, send them my way. I especially love "Interview" (thanks Toby) and "W".  Love to cut out figures from them.

More strange but true...

ok... this is probably only interesting to me, but ??? 

Over the last year or so my totally straight hair has been turning curly! 

Google says this is not uncommon, that every 7 weeks your hair can change. 

I gotta tell my sister!

Has this happened to you?

 

An Experiment or Process...

You may remember the woman in the painting above. She had a few problems. I didn't like her much. The painting embarrassed me for some reason. 

So... I decided to paint her again, but on paper this time. Same dimensions, same basic composition. 

It either got worse or better, sure didn't stay the same. I can't say I like this one either.

 

And then this strange accident occurred. I held her up to the window backwards and there was another painting living inside the one above! And this painting is interesting and spontaneous and full of energy. I like this one the best of the three. However, I don't think I'll leave it hanging in the window...

I think this is kind of a miracle, the magic painting inside another painting.

Kindle drawing... she might be waiting for her veggie burger to arrive...

Tomorrow is Monday, studio day. 

I don't want to just blah, blah, blah report here a la "this is what I have done". Maybe what is more interesting is this feeling of not knowing what is coming next. I have 12 blank, prepped panels ready to go. Looking at drawings, going to go xerox stuff tomorrow. 

No words, I just have to make stuff.

oh... has anyone read The Night Circus? I loved it...

My friend Shelly Jo

This is my friend Shelly Jo (and Ginger). We have known each other since I was 19, we met at Girl Scout Camp. Along with Aggie the three of us have had some amazing adventures. We were all photographers together and attended the Photography Ovular in Southern Oregon in the early 80's. (We are talking some serious feminism here, and a whole lot of fun)

There are so many accomplished things to know about my friend Shelly Jo. She is an expert backpacker and makes most of her equipment... AND she just got done walking 700 miles on the Pacific Crest Trail. Yes, you heard it right, 700 miles!

 

We got to hang out in the studio where Shelly made prints of a cabin she had stayed in. The prints turned out great! 

 

I love you lots S.J. (and Mr. Monty was pretty smitten with her)

Process Shmacess (as Kristin would say)

 Making a mess, evolution, ruining something I liked, process....

You could call this painting all of the above.

This painting, "The Grim Reaper", got to the state below... I liked it, I even liked it a lot, but it wasn't quite right, wasn't quite "enough". In my mind it didn't jump or sparkle, but I couldn't figure out what it needed.

  

I took a photo, took it home and fed it into PhotoShop Elements which I do not know how to use. I played with the filters. The image below does not exist in reality, but I love the drama of it. However this didn't help my painting. I still didn't know how to make the spark happen.

 

This is where I'm at today, it's not bad but I'm mourning the loss of the painting that was the first state. Because of course now I know what the original painting needed, the red box on top of the green striped rectangle. That's all, just one small thing would have made it work.

Now the Grim Reaper looks like he is wearing the flag. Gotta get a bit of green-gray in this image and that is IT!!!

So, for those who think this is about talent it's only me stumbling around in the color wheel trying to make sense of things.

It's Interesting...

Recognition feels good. Really good. Here is my piece at the entryway to the mayor's art show. 

And, above photos of Ginger and Karm and Connie and Dale. 

The reception was very fun. 

My sister gave me a book titled "How Georgia Became O'Keefe". In it I found the following quote: "Flattery and criticism go down the same drain and I am free"

There is something quite freeing in this as I know the warmpth wears off and what is left is the art and why are we doing it? All I know is that I can't wait to get into the studio this week...

Oh, and one other thing... I overheard a man talking about my painting. He wanted to know why Lincoln was dressed like Elvis! He didn't seem too happy about it!