Last Post of the Year 2008

2009 sounds really old. I feel like we are still in the 90's. I worry that life will be over before I have absorbed it, "made" something of it (or me), or understand it... it's going by too fast.

I love New Year's Eve, no party for this gal, I like a nice quiet contemplation and a few resolutions.
1. Draw more
2. Embrace being healthy. (This one is about attitude. I want to be enthusiastic like my friends about loving veggies and beautiful food and how fun it is to walk in any weather, and how good water tastes and that coffee is not the best stimulant and on and on. But I want to LOVE the process rather than begrudgingly participate)

I could think of a lot more resolutions, but I think two are enough to track and be serious about.
Happy New Year to friends and family! Love, Janice

Back home and back to work...

We are back home after two stormy days at the beach. It was wonderful being with K and T. This week off work seemed very long. Christmas took up a lot of space emotionally and physically. Things feel pretty good. But the blogger won't upload my photos again... anyone else have this problem? Almost New Years and then it's the home stretch of winter til the crocus blooms in February!

It's working...

I got all excited and had to make another post. I haven't been able to download (upload?) anyway, I haven't been able to post photos to my blog for a few days. I read the help section of Blogger and downloaded Firefox and amazing! It's working! and quickly!

so, these are the nothing, just working in the am at my desk images. I especially like the last one, "mad scene". It reminds me of my dream of going to live with the Addams family...

Eating Peeps on Christmas

Yum, these peeps my sister sent tasted sooo good, I'm not kidding. For some reason they just hit the spot. Christmas was very fun, even though I missed my family. I really love our philosophy on presents... G and I tried all kinds of ways to deal with presents and Christmas. Ignoring it did not work. The time G and I tried to pretend Christmas didn't exist we were a lonely mess. Shopping and buying and spending didn't feel good either. So, many years ago we decided the presents we give cannot cost more than 5 dollars (except now it's 7!). It is a real challenge to find something real and meaningful for that amount of money, yet it can be done. And... it results in lots of presents under the tree. And when we open them we laugh a lot and nominate the best presents of the year. My sister's gift of peeps and a donation to our local food bank won hands down in my opinion. Also wonderful were a jar of apple butter, a book on Rothko, and a cute little bowl.

So, here it is the day after Christmas, we survived all the snow and cold weather. We are healthy and together and so fortunate. But, I did have this really awful dream last night that I was sent to live with Morticia and the Addams family. Really.

Cookies with icing

Yawn, we had a great day with L and J, and then finished up our cookie baking project. I especially like the wildly vibrant pink icing. How do you make red? with a whole little bottle of red food coloring? Who says you can't have a pink wreath? Maybe it's good tomorrow is the 24th. The food projects around here are getting a bit wild...

Time to Make: Nothing!

G just put up this cool rack o'buckets over my work area. It's amazing and so much easier to work when a bunch of my mess is out of my way. This is the 4th of my 10 days off and I'm thinking this is preparation for my homemade art retreat at home the last two weeks in January. I made a print to give to my work buddies and the art-o-mat exchange, and this am I made NOTHING!!! which is really everything, and was so relaxing and fun. I just played with ink and paper and pencils...

Yesterday we went to see the Milk movie. G came out in '73 and myself in '78 so it is our era. The world has changed, but I remember so much of what was portrayed in the film. Anita Bryant, the Briggs amendment. Now, I'm at the invisible age, but it doesn't seem like long ago when I got called a dyke and a queer on the street. I remember when everyone came out because of the Briggs amendment. 

I hope this movie makes an impact. I'd like to thank Sean Penn on my dinky blog here, and everyone who made the movie. And... if you are interested watch "The life and times of Harvey Milk", the documentary that preceded the film. It is so good. Now... I'm waiting for the film about the radical lesbian feminists of the '70s, or the film about the women's land movement in Southern Oregon and Northern California in the '70s and '80s... Haven't heard of them? I'm really hoping someday you will. (And then you can hear about the time I spraypainted a church). (Not sure I am exactly proud of this chapter of my herstory!)

Ginger making dog cookies

I love G. she is so enthusiastic about projects! We had a lot of fun making the dog cookies and Monty and Simon were good testers. 

It's been snowing for a long time now...

I like snow, and I don't have much control over the weather... but it's way too cold for me! We aren't going to risk driving to LA for Christmas and I am sad. There isn't a day that doesn't involve snow, freezing temps, or ice over the passes before Christmas. Sigh...

Today

Today. What happened today? What was the best and the worst of the day?

The worst was sliding down the hill to the bus this am, and my long underwear elastic fiasco.

And the best was a late afternoon nap with 2 dogs  and 2 cats and tonight working in my studio listening to gospel music on Pandora.com

I work tomorrow then off for 10 days. Hooray!

Freezing Cold Here

It's 10 pm and 11 degrees outside. Poor Simon just burrows into the sofa, or curls up on Monty. Tonight when I put him out to pee he started to cry and I had to go and pick him up out of the snow. He won't walk with the little ice balls between his toes. Oregon kinda falls apart when it snows. A bunch of people can't get to work, and people are sleeping over in the hospital rather than drive on ice. I don't think we have many snow plows here!

We were going to drive to LA for Christmas, but we aren't going to risk driving over the icy/snowy passes. Snow and low temps predicted at least through the 23rd. Brrr...

Tonight we went shopping as G has the chains on the car. We had these 10 dollars off coupons for Penny's that seemed too good to pass up. We walked through the whole store and there was NOTHING we wanted (which was kinda cool). We settled on a "High School Musical" bathrobe and sweater to donate. Some 8 year old will love them.  Then I had a craving for Sees candy of all things. When I was a kid I thought it was yucky and now? We walked into the overlit, warm room with grey haired ladies in those outfits handing us a yummy sample. I love Sees candy!

ok, enough rambling. I hope everyone is warm and not too busy.

December the 15th

Winter arrived in one day and is due to stay for awhile. Last night I woke up several times to check on the status of the SNOW. I love snow in the way that only a Southern California girl can. Snow is still a mystery to me, kind of scary in it's "you'll freeze out there", and beautiful in it's reflections and brightness.

G in her go forth way decided that a car trip down the hill would be just fine, forget staying home, we had lots of errands to do. We slipped and slid to the tire store to get chains put on, then drove to various friends to deliver dog and cat treats. 

It was a rather hectic day, so in this running around season I wish you peace. I think these letterpress medallions are so beautiful and elegant. 

And the last disjointed thought I will share is that I worry about the fate of the man who threw the shoes at Bush. It made me sick to watch Bush snicker and not see the pain on the man's face as he did this action. 

A Wonderful Gift

My sister gave me this book for my birthday: Amazing Peace by Maya Angelou. If anyone needs a gift to give and can't figure out what that might be, well this book would touch anyone. Her words are so beautiful and the images are amazing. I have the best collection of books my sister has sent me. Thanks Sonny!

Events of the Season

More of my Art-O-Mat blocks.

Is everyone out there "doing" a lot? My activity list pales compared to others, but this am I woke up and realized I had "event fatigue". One symptom is that I have so many photos to post on my blog, so many things I want to "show". (I always did like show and tell) There is the amazing art-o-mat deck of cards I got at the exchange, and the piece we bought at last night's art sales. Oh, and the book my sister got me for my birthday. It deserves a post of it's own.

Art-O-Mat Blocks

I have lots of photos of the 15 art-0-mat blocks I made, each the size of a cigarette pack, but Blogger won't upload them tonight. Bummer. The exchange was lots of fun, one offering was a full deck of cards all made from a hand carved woodblock. wow... 

What a day. I'm really tired. I think partly from the turkey dinner they gave us at work. I had not one but two helpings of dressing and gravy. I could live on that particular food item.

More soon. Yawn...

Cupcakes in Portland

Thank you everyone for such nice birthday wishes. I had a great birthday. As promised to K, we made a really silly video at Saint Cupcake in Portland. (I am not sure why I cannot keep G's head in the little window). I don't know what my "thing" was with cupcakes this year, but we tried them all! The winner hands down was the coconut delight. (Even better than chocolate). Other Portland highlights were the art museum, and the Museum of Arts and Crafts, it was bright, colorful, and interesting. And Michelle, we had stumptown coffee for the first time. Yum! We also had the most delicious Lebanese food, sigh. 

Now, I'm back in "real life". I finished the little blocks for the Art-O-Mat exchange. Photos tomorrow.

Almost 56...

Tomorrow is my birthday. As I read the comments from my last post I became very thankful for this whole blog learning adventure this year. I started this blog last January and thought it was kinda weird and didn't know what making it was about for me. Turns out I have totally enjoyed writing about my life and art process. It's been many things for me: a quiet time of the day to sit and reflect, a way to "see" what my dearest friend K is up to, a conduit for encouragement and inspiration from internet friends Michelle and Beth who I have never met, it has pushed me to look more at my environment and document my world with photos- to see more! and best of all a way to stay on track and keep making art despite everything: job, illness, sick animals, and the famous "too much to do". 

So, on my 56th birthday I celebrate this blog and all the riches it has given me. I appreciate anyone who reads it, sending hugs to all. 

Final Class Project

Our final class project is to make 15 art-o-mat pieces. If you have never gone to the art-o-mat website you are in for a treat. (www.artomat.org) It's really fun to look at all the creative things that artists do with such a restricted format. The art-o-mat is made up of all these refurbished cigarette machines that are stocked with original art. They are located mostly on the east coast, many in museums. Artists submit work that is the size of a cigarette pack, either a block of wood like mine in the photo above, or a piece of art contained in a box, again cigarette pack sized. Our community college is lucky enough to have an art-o-mat and it's really fun to put in your 5 dollars and pull the handle and get art!

Our project is an exchange... I'm doing xerox transfers from my coaster project. Then I'll paint and embellish them... 

Another topic... since I had such a twit about applying for an artist residency I decided to just make my own time in January. I'm taking two weeks off and going to do some structured projects and get our garage all set up for printmaking. 

Oh well, as usual I have to go to bed, off to work tomorrow...

What is missing?

This is the silkscreen print I am working on, but I am stuck. I like what is happening so far, but something seems to be missing. The image has a great pattern, but no content. I'd love suggestions if anyone has any. 

many thanks, Janice

I wanted to snooze all day...

I woke up today dragging. Was it all the pot pies and dessert? Was it letdown? Was it missing my sister? I would answer yes to all of the above. 

I did not want to drive out to the college to work on prints, I just wanted to curl up in bed and sleep all afternoon. But, I made myself go and was glad I did. Things turned out well, even though my print doesn't seem quite done. 

I went to pick up G from work and met her at the U/O bookstore where she was happily watching the football game. There were hardly any shoppers and one fellow pulled up a chair for her in front of the TV! It was pretty cute watching her be a spectator in the middle of the store. We then retired to the local college hangout, ate burgers, and watched more of the game. 

And now I'm home and tomorrow looks better. I have my final project to work on for my class, leaves to finish raking and some time to be quiet and even take a nap if I want to. It isn't easy staying upbeat in the dark and the holiday season for me. One day at a time. I think you have to find fun where it is in the moment. Like Ms. G and her football.  I'll post photos of silkscreen prints in progress tomorrow. 

The Dessert!

Here is a little video of the Thanksgiving dessert table (majorly yummy). I had planned to hold up a sign with everyone's name on it who reads this blog, but... so please imagine being yelled at by us with much love, saying hi to you! (L, J, C, C, M, B, K, L, L, J, D, much love to you all!)

Happy Thanksgiving!

I woke up this morning really excited because I knew that today I would get to make something! And that something is dinner, well not exactly dinner because my contribution to our stomaches is still in the freezer. I was excited all day working on the house... looking through our treasures to find candles, and decorations for our funny little tree, and watching the dogs and cats sleep through it all. I feel so grateful for all these little things and I am grateful to feel grateful if that makes any sense. 

I made this little fold out book for W's birthday. I am really needing to "make" lately. Cards, glue, cut and paste... 

I read Michelle's post on what she is grateful for and I could say ditto, ditto, ditto and add that even though it's cold, foggy and dark out the grip of depression has not gotten me. 

ok... almost time for pot pies!

Poor Dogs

I am amazed and rather horrified at the way I talk to Monty and Simon. I sound like an idiot talking to idiots. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if they both just started talking to me in a normal tone of voice a la Mr. Ed. Other than me having a coronary I imagine they'd advise me to talk like I would to any sentient being. 

These are things that cross my mind when home alone. G is at work and I have a nice veggie/cheesy/rice casserole in the oven. I'm going to put the lights on the funny fake tree, and clean up and get ready to go to work tomorrow.

...and maybe give the babies a treat.

Fashion

What do we like? Shoes? Fashion? Purses?

I sit back and grin at my friends and their fashion creativity. I haven't a clue. But maybe I should tune in a bit, join a club, learn this language that is so foreign to me. I admire my friends all dressed up for an evening, looking grand. 

It's Sunday evening and it was a good day. I got the first layer on my new silkscreen print done. It looks like either moldy bread or swiss cheese. More to come, but I have no idea what that is yet. Tomorrow I'll do some line drawings and something will come to me.

Meanwhile, this is such a great photo of my dear friend on a giant shoe it had to be on the blog.

Friday Evening

"I thought modern appliances would make my life easier and I would have lots and lots of time to bake christmas cookies and decorate my house"

___________________________________

It has started to rain... after dinner. Oscar the giant, multi-toed kitty has climbed into my lap. I love being home. 

We have been out running errands, looking for flat fronted frames at the thrift stores to make silkscreens. I want to make some cards and small screens (8x10) are about 20 dollars each! So, I'm going to try to make my own and see how they turn out. My teacher gave me a website:  www.instructables.com where there is an article called "screen printing, cheap, dirty, and at home". This website seems worth exploring, there are all kinds of "how to" instructions on everything. And recycling old frames sounds like a good idea to me.

All of a sudden Thanksgiving is almost here and I haven't taken down the Halloween decorations yet. Seems like things are getting busy just when it seems like they should be slowing down. This year i want to make, make, make. But, time only allows so much. Tell me, all you wise ones who read my blog what the holidays are like for you. good? bad? quiet? overwhelming? what is most fun? What do you wish you didn't have to do?

Lemmon's Bible Cards

Most of the time when I make art I just "make". I don't always have an idea before I start. In a way that's what happened here. I found these graphically beautiful cards from the 1940's and then started reading them. Because of my lack of Biblical knowledge I wondered..." does this card describe a good thing, or a bad thing?"  As I found out what the stories on each of the cards above were (they all describe "bad" mistakes or people) I realized that the times we live in so often determine what is sinful and what is not. 

And on a technique level, I can't believe what good detail you can get with simple photo emulsion.  I feel good about this print, I think it asks some good questions for me.

yawn... I have to go to work tomorrow, and all I want to do is play in the studio.

Are you really having pot pies for Thanksgiving?

Well, yes... It's going to be a bit of a casual Thanksgiving this year and so far the plans seem way fun. Everyone coming is bringing what they really want to eat. T said she didn't want some old dried out turkey, hence the pot pies! We have made a switch in the last few years to not doing a big extravaganza, but hopefully focusing more on just having fun and enjoying each other. 

I spent the afternoon in the silkscreen studio and finished my print, photos tomorrow. Hope everyone had a good weekend.

How to (I hope) copy music onto your blog for Beth

How I put the music on the blog... well first I had no idea, all credit goes to K. who showed me how. So...

1. She sent me to this site: www.mixwit.com. Once there click on "make a mix".

2. Pick music from the search engine. They don't have everything... (not much Rosemary Clooney)

3. Once you have your playlist click number 2, "add style" and decorate your cassette.

4. Then go to number 3 and "publish"

ok... here's the sort of tricky part...

On the publish page of Mixwit, find the box titled: "embed code". Copy the contents of the box.

Then... on your new post (Blogger) click on the tab: "Edit Html". Past the contents of the box here.

Then, switch back to "Compose", and your little tape should be right there.

I hope it works. 

I know there are other ways, I read the Blogger help on embedding music, but when I went to the sites they suggested, I couldn't figure out how to get the code???? anyone know about this?

I'm off to the print lab. Bible card silkscreens soon.

Janice

My Head's Too Big

What does it mean when your head is too big?

1. Too many ideas, too much to do, not enough quiet time.

2. I think I know everything, including everyone's motives. I forget that my assumptions may be wrong.

3. And of course there is the literal truth that I have a very big head, most hats don't fit, no pin head for this girl.

4. My head's too big around the anti-gay measures. I just found out the HRC (Human Rights Coalition) does not include transgendered people in their groups deserving protection. I've got to have wide vision and ask questions.

5. Sometimes it would be nice to deflate my big head and take a little rest.

Ending the Work Week

Tomorrow I go in to work a few hours in the am, and then my work week is done. I'm really tired tonight and have been all week. This might have something to do with falling off the healthy veggie wagon. 

Apples taste so good when they are the only sweet. I am so glad G is home so I have someone to eat healthy with. Support and two cooks really helps. 

That's all I know. Tomorrow is my printmaking class critique, I'll try to get photos of everyone's work. My bible cards included.  Ok, off to bed.

Techno-girl

ok, Ms. K I'm trying this out. All this new stuff is way fun, and so was raking leaves for hours today in the clouds and wind and sun. I must have looked silly dancing around in the yard to the tunes on my Ipod. Tomorrow back to work, and the real world...

Oh my...!

I'm sitting here laughing at myself for posting this. It's really kinda boring, but you do get some cute views of the dogs. 

Hope everyone had as satisfying a day as I had. I didn't rake any of the zillion leaves in the yard, but I had a great art day. 

Thinking about what is sinful...

Now why would a good Southern California girl like me who was raised in a metaphysical church in the 1950s and 60s (nary a mention of sin) be interested in the concept of wrongdoing and who thinks what is wrong and how wrong is it, and who's perspective decided it was wrong and were they qualified to judge that person and on and on.

Well, if you made it through that sentence and you are still with me it's a miracle.

These very cool cards are from a Bible game I found at St. Vincent de Paul's. The first copyright date is 1919. The cards give you the first two letters of someone's name, an example of their behavior, and the bible verse to find the answer as to who the mystery person is.

I'm not sure you can read them so I'll quote one: (my fave) The letters are "Ev" and the hint is "the first sinner". Even I got this one. 

I was clueless as to most of the other cards and I called a friend J to help explain them. What amazed me were the stories attached to the clues. I ended up spending a long time on the computer reading about them, imagining what it would have been like to have been told these stories as a child. Some seemed so cruel, and some very touching.

Anyway, tomorrow I'm off to the silkscreen lab to work with these cards. I really want to make a piece with them to just ponder. For once I think I know what I am thinking and asking. 

Now, I have to figure out what colors and shapes go with these ideas. Does this mean I am becoming a conceptual artist? (I have never really been able to figure out just what that means)

There is so much that is interesting to me in the world, and so much I don't understand. Sometimes I arrive at what I am working on wearing a blindfold and bumping into walls. I just persevere, knowing that the next interesting question may be waiting at the local thrift store and it may be rich with possibility.

and thanks J for your help, I hope you don't think I have gone off the deep end.

Janice

And... on another topic

I had a wonderful trip to Seattle this week. I love that the Space Needle interrupts the skyline wherever you look. Visually, it's so different from all the other buildings that it makes me jump each time I spot it.

K and L were wonderful hostesses. The best gift they gave me was time with each of them, to talk and catch up and ask questions and ponder art and life.

It was just so good to get out of my own world and see K and L's wonderful living spaces and studio, and all the art on their walls.

I loved spending time with Nagi, sweet kitty girl (spelled right?), and Jasper and Duke too (my doggie boyfriends).

and H and T, well you are the best.

Thank you thank you thank you, for everything.

love, Janice

My Election Blog

Harvey Milk 1930-1978, the first openly gay elected official in the United States.

Barack Obama, President Elect 

Last night,  I was on a train travelling home from visiting K and L. An understatement to say it was a strange way to spend election night... Earlier in the evening I had a nice chat with the young African American woman in charge of the concessions car. Since there was no TV coverage on the train each time A. would call me with an update I'd trot down four cars and give her the latest news. 

And here is the good part. I got to be the one to tell her Obama won. She was stunned and tears ran down her face. (Me too) We hugged, and she said "you don't know what this means to me". "I have never had any faith in the government". We just beamed at each other total strangers in such happiness and joy.

And on a day of such happiness and joy we also heard that anti-gay initiatives passed in 3 states, California included. Initiatives to take away our civil rights and make us feel as if we have no right to be a part of the vision celebrated.

For gay people, great joy and great sadness. 

I post this image of Harvey Milk  to remind democrats that many of us are still not free to live without fear of violence against us. We are not free to marry, adopt children, and live with all the freedoms most Americans take for granted. 

When I look at the smiles on the faces of these two heroes I know that if Harvey Milk were alive today he'd join Obama in the fight for freedom. 

I would ask that all of us celebrate this incredible moment in time and remember all who have sacrificed to get us there: heroes of every race, gender, and sexual orientation.

Inclusion, Freedom, Hope, and Civil Rights for all.

What a great election night...

A quiet Halloween

We don't have trick or treat traffic at our house, so I went over to W's tonight to hand out my sour gummy bears. I had been wearing this hat all week at work, so was in the Halloween spirit.

W's house looked great, especially this mummy and eyeball combo.

But... despite perfect decorations and good candy we only had a few door knockers! 

and it was a strange eve without ms. G present.

Halloween is the pagan new year. 

Halloween is warm and wild and dark and internal.

Halloween is the link between the living and the dead.

Halloween celebrates the night and the creative spirit.

and my sister invented it...

A wonderful new year to all my friends, young and old, gay and straight, human and other.

love, Janice

This is Fun!

Somehow this is cheering me to imagine your photo on the side of a building...

miss you G.

Life on the Internet

  

It was a bit of a hard day. I got turned around in the fog early in the morning and ended up on the new, way high up in the air overpass going the wrong direction. I crept along going about 20mph telling myself to just look at the center line. I couldn't see 5 feet in front of me and don't know if that was good or bad.  My panicky, fear of heights self was trying hard not to stop the car and crawl along the road. yikes! In the last 5 years I've gone from being a normal driver to some phobic, beanbag, avoiding any high place. 

I took B's advice from Tangled Sky Studio and visited the photofunia site. Way fun. I swear, I could spend my whole life on the internet, it can be like candy. That's where the above photo came from.

I'm going to visit K and L in a few days... and I cannot wait. I do not care what we do, I am just so anticipating seeing a different world than my own. I do hope it involves at least one doughnut though...

I have to get up really early again so, am going to retire and read and read. It's so nice to lie in a comfy bed with 2 dogs and a cat smushed into you and devour a good book.

yawn, love to all my friends and esp. G 

Silkscreen Day!

I spent the afternoon at the print lab totally enjoying myself. I now know I took this independent study class because I wasn't sure I could do all the silkscreen processes I have learned at home. But today I added the 3rd layer to this print, the black-line figures using photo emulsion. And it worked! I felt really good, all alone, no teacher and it worked...

the red dots on this print are just pieces of magazine cut out, experimenting with adding a little more color.

Thought I'd make a print of the line drawing to color...

Making some extras at each stage so I can combine things down the road. 

It really helped to have such a fun afternoon. Then I stopped by L and J's and had a delicious dinner and good company and came home to all the boys. I think I felt kinda weird about yesterday's post, like I was rocking a boat that shouldn't be rocked, or I was bad to want more than just a democratic victory. I read this great blog a lot, www.wertzateria.wordpress.com. Michael was talking about Prop. 8 in California (outlawing gay marriage), and people wrote in the yuckiest comments. Aside from that his blog is great, and if you like dogs check out his silkscreen dog blog. 

I have to get up way too early tomorrow to go to work. So, I'd best get to bed and keep my nose out of too much controversy. 

Especially sending love tonight to G. heart of my heart

Day off and Election Rant

Simon monitoring the neighborhood from the new 2nd story deck.

This is Monty running his zig-zag course through the oak trees at top speed.

I don't know what kind of shrubs these are, but their leaves turn blue-green and red all at the same time. I have never seen such an amazing color, it makes me stare at them a long time...

What a beautiful Fall day. leaf raking that was pure bliss. No photos of art in progress because the studio carpet is damp after being cleaned and I don't want to walk on it. Tomorrow though I'm off to the silkscreen lab, and will take photos of what happens. 

Today, I went to the Obama headquarters to sign up for phone banking. I really don't want to phone bank, but I really do want Obama to win the election. Really being multiplied by a zilllion. 

So, I arrive at Obama headquarters with a chunk of me not on board. Like, "of course I want him to win, but there is still something very, very WRONG". I can't reconcile the fact that lesbians and gays are missing a HUGE chunk of their civil rights and this fact is offered up as an omission sacrifice the Democrats have to make so that they win the elections. Of course this is true. Even if Obama was pro gay marriage, he certainly couldn't come out about that and win the election. 

So... when I get to Obama headquarters I try to talk about this  bit. There is a display with 25-30 position papers on various topics. I ask if there is one on gay rights. Three workers jump in and start looking through them, "there must be". There are no such papers. And then the nicest volunteer walks up to me and says, "I'm gay and I know exactly how you feel. I suggest you read the Obama interview in the Advocate. (the only interview he has granted the gay community). My only hope is that if we win this election at least we may have someone we can dialogue with". 

and... i went home and read the interview and felt a whole lot worse and a whole lot better. Worse because Obama's position on gay rights is wishy washy at best, and better because now I know that that little knot of anger I carry about President Obama is right on. 

Coretta Scott King was a great champion of freedom and civil rights for everyone, gays included. Before she died she was quoted: "I believe that freedom and justice cannot be parceled out in pieces to suit political convinience". 

Obama must win this election. And as an old girlfriend used to say to me: "many things can be true at the same time".