a long week

Fuzzy (aka Simon) and Monty out for a walk.

The big guy and the little guy, best of friends...

The sun was out all day! gratitude and tonight when I went to put the trash can out on the sidewalk the sky was clear and full of stars. Spring is really coming.

Enuf is Enuf?

I walk past this house every day on the way to the bus. Each day I wonder why someone spray-painted in huge letters "enuf is enuf". Was this a disgreement among family members, or is it a huge anti-war statement?

Today has been slightly "off", I'm tired and woke up worrying about how much I have to do at work this week.

Enuf is enuf.
Shall I focus on the positive and paint?

K. asked me to post some photos of what I am working on. It is hard to photograph the coasters as they are little and , they usually have shiny surfaces and reflect light. Any tips? This little painting was a gift to G. for Valentine's Day. It is Simon enjoying both winter and spring at the same time. I'll try to post some better photos soon.

Oh well, I just had a glass of carrot juice, G. went to the movies, and I'm going downstairs to work on my coasters...

more road trip...

Simon wonders if the car is his new, permanent home...

We arrive in Santa Cruz and flowers are blooming!

G. picking navel oranges at our friend's house in the Santa Cruz mountains.

Garage sale paper mache' deer at S.'s house.

I just read my post from yesterday... about my anger at a man who is dead. Anger is an amazing thing. I didn't realize how furious I was until confronted with horrible history described in jelly beans. In my crisis intervention classes I teach at work we teach that the one of the best predictors of violence is a sense of perceived injustice. There is a lot of that living inside of me. I need to get this energy out of my body. Old resentment, old anger... shed these please.



Back to the road trip... I could live in Santa Cruz in a minute. Ocean, sun, no harsh winter, citrus trees... and San Francisco an hour away... but it is incredibly expensive. Houses (800 sq. ft. fixer upper) start at about 800,000. Our Santa Cruz friends are my oldest friendships and some of my most dear. We arrived in the midst of preparations for a big 50th birthday party. So many great folks gathered together to honor A. Lots of artists, generous hearts. How lucky am I to be so surrounded by such loving friends.

That's all tonight, it's been a long work week and I am tired

Road trip, first installment

Simon settles right into life on the road.

We are home from our whirlwind road trip to Santa Cruz. Our mission: to attend A.'s 50th birthday party (we surprised her, she didn't know we were coming). Santa Cruz was beautiful: sun, ocean, and flowers. Here is the first installment of our eventful trip. Theme? How to have fun on the road when the pickings are slim...

Clear and cold, right over the border into California.

Desperate for entertainment we arrive at the Jelly Belly Factory.

A really scary lunch. Hot dog shaped like a jelly bean. The pasty smiley faces are french fries!

Entertainment is a vital part of any road trip and it's especially challenging on I-5 which seems to be devoid of much of anything. We ogled Mount Shasta decked out in snow and had a lovely time olive tasting at the Olive Pit in Corning. The next day stopped at the Jelly Belly factory which was nothing short of surreal. I started to question reality while stopped in the tasting line staring at the jelly bean portrait of Ronald Reagan. Then I noticed the huge case of Reagan memoribilia and as we sat down to our jelly bean shaped lunches there was a Ronald Reagan video playing. I wished and wished I had little stickers printed up that said simply "When you look at this picture remember how many lives were lost because this man refused to acknowlege the AIDS epidemic. Remember how many died because he refused to fund research and treatment. " I'm still mad about it all these years later.

The Valentine Card Making Party

J. and V. and a table full of supplies.

W. and H. were at the first party, about 15 years ago!

Using up those old Barbie valentines... L. and J. have creative moments.

New friend B. and best friend A. demonstrate card making.

Valentine's day was great. There were about 14 friends at the Annual Card Making Party, friends from work, neighbor friends, best friends, greyhound friends... The party had a theme: make a valentine for someone in your life who won't expect it, and really needs one.

Our furniture-less living room made for lots of table room, so everyone could spread out to cut and paste. G. made lattes and served wine, and there was plenty of sugar to go around. After the party G. and I had the fun of choosing who we'd send our card to. If you've never had a Valentine party I highly recommend it!

Molecular realignment

I am cranky. I was at work all day where I have way more to do than I could ever accomplish unless I had about a week with no interruptions. Today I sat in a meeting for about 2 hours and when I stood up my knee just gave out from under me with a jolt of pain. I hobbled to the bathroom where I sat and contemplated what to do... I ended up relying on the theory of molecular realignment which in other philosophies is known as denial. It is a theory I was raised with, growing up in the Science of Mind church (not Scientology). We would have discussions in church about car batteries reviving themselves and washing machines magically spinning the clothing after a breakdown. So why not my knee? In times of cranky stress it is my favorite coping skill. After all the Science of Mind says pain in the knees is due to an inflexible life. Isn't it typically human that in times of overload I can so easily revert to the strange religion of my youth for reassurance?

Looking for signs of spring... any sign

Tomorrow the weekend is over and I go back to work. Each day I walk the half mile down the hill to the bus. It's getting lighter earlier each day, but still overcast and grey and cold and rainy. There are a few bulbs poking up, but not much spring yet. Although not organic I thought the turquoise water meter covers were quite cheerful! I'm ready for sun...

Coconut Cake!

Yesterday was our Valentine Card Making Party and I made a coconut cake from scratch. It had about a zillion grams of fat per serving and got rave reviews. It's from a great book called Birthday Cakes, Recipes and Memories from Celebrated Bakers by Kathryn Kleinman. Coconut cake is G's favorite...

Comforts Coconut Cake with Cream Cheese and Coconut Frosting

Cake:

3 1/2 C. cake flour

1T. baking powder

3/4 tsp. salt

1 1/2 sticks of unsalted butter, room temp.

1 3/5 C. sugar

4 lg. eggs, separated, room temp

1 tsp. vanilla extract

1 tsp. coconut extract

1- 14oz. can coconut milk

1/4 tsp. cream of tartar

sift together the dry ingredients. beat butter til smooth, beat in sugar, then beat in egg yolks one at a time. (use a mixer). stir in vanilla and coconut extracts.

add dry ingredients to the butter mix alternately with coconut milk. beat the egg whites with cream of tartar til they form soft peaks. fold the egg whites into the batter.

bake the cakes in 9 inch cake pans lined with wax paper for 30 min. at 350. cool in pans for 15 min. then run a knife around the edge and let cool totally on racks.

Yummy frosting

10 1/2 oz. cream cheese at room temp

1 stick of butter, room temp

1 tsp. vanilla extract

5 cups powdered sugar, sifted

pinch of salt

7 oz. pkg. of sweetened shredded coconut

beat together the cream cheese, butter and vanilla. gradually add the powdered sugar and pinch of salt.

frost the cake and press coconut all over it! And if you want to borrow my cake book you can!

Who picked me?

This seemed like an appropriate photo for this entry...

Tonight after re-reading my own posting and K.'s this question just popped into my head... Who picked me and how did I land in this life? This life... middle class girl from a very strange family, enough to eat, not starving or dying from AIDS in Africa, lesbian, not a pretty girl ever..., history of some pretty traumatic experiences, creative mind, and on and on. This life, my life. And in this life there has been one constant, I have always been surrounded by loving friends, family and partner. I am rich in the one thing that really matters. How do we land in these lives? Are we just just plopped into them like oranges on a conveyor belt rolling into a box?

At least I am rolling around with a bunch of oranges I dearly love. K. please don't cry or be sad about the marriage deal. Love is what's important and we have lots of it, all of us. Lucky us, yes.

Who is the domestic and who is the partner?

Yesterday afternoon we went to the county courthouse to register as domestic partners. I was happy walking up the courthouse ramp to pay my 68 dollars for state civil rights, but I was also very clear that "domestic partner" does not equate marriage.

Many gay and straight folks worked very hard for us to get domestic partner benefits. I appreciate them so much. But, it's only a piece of the pie and for the life of me I can't figure out why I don't deserve the whole pie. (same civil rights as any married couple)

Check out the cute 20 year sign they made for us! At the courthouse there was lots of joking about "how many times have we all gotten married?", (to each other). It is kinda funny, Ginger says she can't remember all our anniversaries. Everyone wondered how long this would last, and what ballot initiative might overturn this step forward. We are tough, we understand the true meaning of two steps forward and one step back. Ginger and I cherish our marriage memories. We are married in all sense of the word except legally. I will never, ever forget getting married on the steps of the Multonomah County Courthouse and our wedding the following summer with all our family and friends.

Here we are at the window, paying our money and getting our certificate. The clerk was so happy and kind. I let her know that she changes lives with her attitude. Now we only have to figure out who does the domestic work! What a weird name, "domestic partner". I nominate Ginger and she nominates me for housecleaning duty.

To everyone who supports us, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. What huge progress has been made... I think about 25 years ago and am so grateful.

Testing, where did the comments go?

Hopefully they are back now...

Struggling with Chaos

Is this image creepy or what? At one of the Waldport antique malls they have all these old photos all over the wall. This one is from some European country right after WWII. Three people in polar bear suits carrying a little white dog. The Waldport antique malls are a real mix of total trash and goldmine finds. G. can wander around for hours. I don't have that much stamina, but I am good for a while.

All weekend I have been going through boxes and boxes of studio stuff. Since I'm having a Valentine Card Making Party here next week, I have to get my tables cleaned and cleared... Making the transition from one studio to another has been hard. My old studio was the equivelent of a one bedroom apartment, lots of space. And it isn't that I work in just one medium, like "I paint seascapes in oils" I draw and paint and print and collage and paste and glue and gaze at all the odd objects I collect. Going through boxes of old photos today I found some cool old photo envelopes and will mail K. a surprise in one of them.

I am so excited about K.'s blog I can hardly stand it.

Saturday night

boxes and boxes in the studio
Who could make art without old figurines? The yellow one is Dopey from the Seven Dwarfs

It's Saturday night and I'm home alone. My studio tables are set up in the living room and I'm making great progress going through boxes. I have so much stuff! I am the type of person that has kept just about everything from age 3 on. Photos, books, toys, and on and on. I think I used to be afraid of losing my past, of forgetting both the good and the bad. No way to mark time flying through this life. I still cling to things... I get a letter from dear friend K. and I want to keep it forever. I used to make these giant "pods" or time capsules of all the paper that came my way in a year. It didn't seem like much to save at the time, but after 20 years there were 10 boxes of movie stubs and birthday cards. (All has gone to recycling). I keep reminding myself that the past is past, and what is in the here and now is more than enough to claim my attention. And... if you think I am depriving myself by all this tossing you should see my studio. It has enough little pieces of paper to keep a girl involved for months.

I got a couple great coasters in the mail today from K. Bright yellow with red print.

Monty won't eat today, greyhounds are prone to this. I think he is melancholy secondary to the endless rain that is almost slushy. It's so cold out. A short stroll around the block was it for a walk today. I need signs of spring. I must not complain thinking of M. in Michigan, or my sister in Vermont... brrr...

Posting from Simon the Bichon

Ok... Janice didn't know how to do this tag thing, but she just cut and pasted it. Seemed to work... Here are my answers. I am a very good and loving little dog as you can see by the above photo, taken with my brother Monty.

What are your 5 favorite songs?

1. "Yes, Jesus loves me" (G. actually sings this to him)

2. Whatever Monty likes for the rest, I'm easy.

What are your 5 favorite toys?

1. Anything that squeaks, I love to squeak. I love squeaky toys.

2. Janice's Dopey dolly.

What are your 5 favorite things to eat?

1. Cat poop

2. Dirty kleenex

3. Chicken strips

4. Pig ears

5. Anything really, I even ate an SOS pad when we moved in here! (It made me kinda sick)

What are your 5 favorite things to do?

1. Smelling the cat's behinds and giving them a little lick.

2. Curling up with my brother Monty the greyhound.

3. Riding in the car. (They give cookies at the coffee drive-up)

4. Going for a walk and peeing on every bush.

5. Sleeping under the covers with my mom G.

What are your 5 bad habits?

1. Eating bad things.

2. Growling at children. (I'm afraid of them)

3. Forgetting I'm housebroken.

4. Eating things that don't belong to me.

5. French kissing unsuspecting strangers.

P.S. from Janice- Simon is the most cheerful dog in the world. He LOVES everything and really knows how to have fun. His enthusiasm is contagious to humans, canines, and felines!

Painting thick paper coasters...

I'm painting 100 thick paper coasters, the kind you get under a glass of beer. Little paintings, mixed media, both sides with one or two holes punched in each one. Here are a few in progress.

I had a great talk with N. today about one's core or the basis of how it feels to be an artist. Or more specifically how it feels to me to be an artist. Because I grew up in an environment without art I had no concept that the drive to constantly create or make things meant art. There was no word or concept for art in the same way there was no concept for "lesbian". Art meant who drew in the most realistic manner and if you could do that then you were "an artist". At times I am full of doubt. I hear a voice that says: "Who are you kidding?" It doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is working and working. I have grown to look at the line I put on paper as unique and at times beautiful in it's imperfection. I am not sure what I am doing in this coaster project other than what I always do: tell stories. I don't have a preconcieved idea or theme, I just "make". I had an idea yesterday that I could get a large board and hang the coasters on it on hooks or nails and people could rearrange them in the way that felt best to them. A million combinations and players telling stories that generated from my psyche. How wonderfully self-indulgent!