The Impostor

The beginning of a painting, doesn't look too much like this now! 24"x24"

Ok... I have been thinking about my art insecurities and have a few reflections to share. For those of you just tuning in to this discussion, I got my WONDERFUL studio and now have been grappling with my inner critic. "Who do you think you are?", "You are a big fake" are among the many voices I hear in my head. And I got rejected from the Sitka residency program.

After Ms. K's comment and writing to Susan and Thea from Vermont Studio Center I've come up with the following:

1. So much my negative self talk is a reflection of being raised in a working class family where to be an artist was to be a fake or put on airs. Artists were strange rich people and no one to emulate. I almost think my thoughts are from my family and that they are trying to protect me.

2. I love going to Sitka, but their residency program is natural/ecology based. They want artists who can be inspired by their connection to nature and the scientists present. I did come up with a cool proposal for figurative work, but no go. 

3. I have to find more artists like me. Susan gave me a great link and this helped. Fay Jones is a huge inspiration. 

4. Nothing stops me. I'm already into the painting above. 

5. I'm going to take Art and Fear on my trip and re-read it. It was good the first time and I'm ready to review the lessons.

Contemplating

Kindle drawing done while sitting in the dentist's waiting room.

Everything I know in no particular order:

1. I have been writing this blog for almost 4 1/2 years. Amazing! It's nice to go back and see what I was up to then. I started my coaster project in 2008!

2. Ginger is having way fun with her iPhone. She is at this very moment entertaining herself with the karaoke app. 

3. I love, love, love my studio. I am sort of in awe of it, like I'm not quite good enough for it and I have to be very polite. I wash my brushes and think the sink is so wonderful. 

4. I have to go to bed. I have to clean house tomorrow. ugh.

5. Pollen is the pits.

that's all for now...

???

kitty

pollen

tired

happy

can't wait to go to the new studio tomorrow...

Moving in...

I spent the day unpacking box after box at the new studio. This shows most of the space: one big room and two small ones with a bathroom around the corner. I feel like I lucked out big time. Big windows, lots of light. I'm going to have one whole room just for printmaking. Tomorrow G. is coming to help me hang things and put on cabinet doors. And then I'll post some done photos and go to work. I love my new space, LOVE IT!!!

Signs!

Ginger put up the new Sylvan Acre sign this afternoon. She made it! That girl has some skills...

I signed a one year lease on a new studio space! I am really looking forward to getting up in the morning and going to work. There were way too many distractions here at home. My new studio space is about 400 square feet and has one large room, two little rooms, a bathroom (!), and in one room a wall full of cupboards with a counter and sink! And windows? Did I mention windows? 

The moving part I kinda hate, but I'm almost packed. I have this image of me, lying on the floor and staring at ??? and being quiet enough to hear myself. I tell you those residencies ruined me for understanding the power of a studio space without distractions. It's like reading a book and being able to put it down and start where you left off...

I am very, very fortunate.