The Impostor

The beginning of a painting, doesn't look too much like this now! 24"x24"

Ok... I have been thinking about my art insecurities and have a few reflections to share. For those of you just tuning in to this discussion, I got my WONDERFUL studio and now have been grappling with my inner critic. "Who do you think you are?", "You are a big fake" are among the many voices I hear in my head. And I got rejected from the Sitka residency program.

After Ms. K's comment and writing to Susan and Thea from Vermont Studio Center I've come up with the following:

1. So much my negative self talk is a reflection of being raised in a working class family where to be an artist was to be a fake or put on airs. Artists were strange rich people and no one to emulate. I almost think my thoughts are from my family and that they are trying to protect me.

2. I love going to Sitka, but their residency program is natural/ecology based. They want artists who can be inspired by their connection to nature and the scientists present. I did come up with a cool proposal for figurative work, but no go. 

3. I have to find more artists like me. Susan gave me a great link and this helped. Fay Jones is a huge inspiration. 

4. Nothing stops me. I'm already into the painting above. 

5. I'm going to take Art and Fear on my trip and re-read it. It was good the first time and I'm ready to review the lessons.