The Current Me: for Bruce and Mona

This photo of me, taken at Newport, Oregon (at a great seafood restaurant) is an invite to myself and to my old friends to not be afraid of being older...
I guess I'm saying "here I am" I'm older than I was 30 years ago and ??? But of course I am, older that is! So what am I trying to say here?
Let me back up a bit...

A few weeks ago this chain of events begin to unwind. First Charlie from nursing school called. I heard his dear voice and time slipped away. (We graduated in 1977). I asked him if he had heard from Mona, who we both worked with and then miracle of miracles Mona wrote to me. There is no way to describe Mona, except for adoring her. And then Bruce showed up and I just broke down and sobbed. (I am prone to leaky emotions). I thought I had lost track of my oldest friend. And to see his dear face with his partner, well...it made me so happy.

And then suddenly I became:
the plain girl from high school who didn't go to the prom
the Girl Scout geeky camp counselor who fell in love at 18 and got her heart broken,
the newly out insecure lesbian from the late 70's
and the always making stuff girl (art) who couldn't figure out that this was a viable life pathway...

And now I'm 56 and I have made it through a lot of trials and tribulations
(I never really worried much about getting fatter because I always was),
but I have the STUPIDEST thought in my head, "suppose they won't like me because I am older?"
and does this make ANY sense at all?

probably not... but then the reason Mona and Bruce were my dear friends was because even 30 years ago they liked me despite or because of the fact that I was a bit different.

I love you Bruce.
I love you Mona.
What a gift to know you are in the world.

Good thing we got new furniture

This morning I walked into the living room and found one cat and two dogs sharing the sofa, and one old kitty on the recliner chair. Guess no one was interested in the 3 dog beds on the floor!
I got a lot done today, I did my trick of making myself do tasks I don't want to: an hour of art and then an hour of work (dishes, weeding a planter, scrubbing dog drool off windows).
Looking forward to Sunday and tea with A. and lots more painting!

Doing the Work

I really like this "3" painting.

"Doing the work" is the theme of my life lately. At my job I spend a chunk of time teaching which mostly is lots of fun. I've made the material, and then I stand up and try to put it across in an entertaining way. And then there is the other chunk which is just plain work.

My job is to take ideas and needs, do research and make a learning tool. And... every single time I start by getting overwhelmed before I finally settle down and tackle the job at hand. I've had to learn how to be organized and not have piles of paper everywhere. It hasn't been easy. It's not my nature.

Today I got "Handmade Nation" from the library. It's all about people making a living from their craft. The first article I read stated everything I have been dealing with in art and work life. That to succeed you have to be an artist, designer, business manager, account, customer-service representative, publicist, writer and website programmer. And that all this takes a lot of internal motivation. And the other quality the author added was optimism.

I think the only things that come naturally to me in the above list are artist and optimism. The rest are all an act of faith and hard work.

My painting mantra is "I can make this work". And with that, let the next 4 days off work (at the hospital) begin!

The Middle of the Week

Tashi and Simon waiting at the doggy, smeary door!

It's the middle of my work week and I'm tired. My psyche wants to paint but I'm just too tired. Maybe I'll write about things I'm excited about:
1. I'm excited about K's food blog: Cheffeta (see link under "Community"). It makes me want to eat food that is good for me, no mean feat.
2. I'm excited about working outside, sitting on a bucket and pulling little weeds.
3. I'm excited about the book I'm reading: "The 19th Wife". Anyone read this? It's fascinating so far.
4. I'm really excited about time in the studio. I'm so into what I am doing.

Ginger always says it doesn't take much to make me happy. I'm pretty lucky, I have all that I could possibly want and need.

Getting Started

My cupcake party gave me lots of energy. I'm excited about what I am doing. I gessoed panels today and worked on these two paintings. They seem about halfway done to me. I especially like the top one. He is an imperfect figure with the perfect head on his shoulder to remind him constantly of his inadequacies. I keep in mind the advice from L. "What are you trying to say?" "What is the most important thing?"

Popular Culture

I am always way behind when it comes to music. I checked out Beyonce's CD "B Day" and have TOTALLY enjoyed it all day. I love energy music. But, why is she posing with alligators on a leash in stilletos and a bathing suit? At first I thought they were ski poles and she was poking the poor creatures. So of course I have to google this question and sure enough PETA was after her for this action. I'm listening to Keysia Cole too, great stuff and more photos a la "oops, I'm in a bathing suit"
And why is any of this important? It seeps slowly though the strata of my brain cells and ultimately ends up in my art work.
I've had a great, calm, productive day. Feels good...

Worth Watching Documentary

I love documentary filmaking. This film made me think and (surprise) made me cry. Here is the blurb from Netflix:

Female inmates at Bedford Hills Correctional Facility for Women try to determine whether redemption is really possible after committing a crime. Proctored by playwright Eve Ensler, the convicts (including two former members of the Weather Underground) perform a series of writing exercises and discussions that could lead to healing. The film culminates in a prison performance of the women's writings by Glenn Close, Marisa Tomei and Rosie Perez.

To me the film was about being defined in our lives by our mistakes, big and small and how we can or cannot grow past them.

Rent this one, it's worth it.

Arty Life with Missy K.

K brought 4 big sheets of paper that she had coated with the softest pink colored gesso. Yum.
We bought cabbage, cauliflower, celery and green pepper to cut, coat with paint and "stamp" onto the dream papers.

K has been talking about undersea vegetation. She forgot her apron and has a lovely tablecloth wrapped around her middle. Details are important, check out the red beads!

Andrew Bird music playing while working.

And then we took a break and went thrift store shopping. I couldn't convince anyone to buy these Italian shoes.

And then photographs... of my old toys and figurines. Check out Smarter than Da Vinci under Community and go to Kristin's Flickr photos. These are so good. Incredible.
Dang art is fun, way fun.

The Cupcake Art Party

I made 62 cupcakes for my art opening party on Sunday. And then G and K iced all 62 of them using the super-duper icing tips G had purchased. The cupcakes looked great!
And my art opening was really fun. So many friends came to visit us at Eugene Coffee Company and all had kind words to say about my art making. I haven't put my paintings and prints up in a public place for about 5 years and forgot how good it feels to get all that support.
MANY thanks to all who came, I'm still grinning.
More photos soon from the fun weekend K and I had.

Working with Elephants

My dearest friend is visiting and these are photos of her using her "elephant camera". The real name for this type of photography is "through the viewfinder" photography. Here is how it works: you take an old camera, the kind with the viewfinder on the top of the camera and build a box around it to block out the light. Leave the top of the box open. Then use your digital camera to take a photo "through" the lens of the the old camera. What your are actually photographing is the viewfinder in the old camera. It gives a great quality to the digital image. The flaws of the old glass viewfinder look beautiful.
Check out "Smarter Thank Da Vinci" (on the right side of my blog) to see K's amazing photos.
It was warm and spring today and we were out in the country walking by the river and I was so happy. And now we are cooking dinner and life is good.

and Mona... hearts to you.

time is flying

Yikes! no photo, just a quick jot. With lots of help (I just sort of stood there) my little show of 14 pieces got hung at the Eugene Coffee Company on Monday. This Sunday I'm having an opening were I hope everyone will consume lots of cupcakes and drink coffee! And maybe gaze at my art up on the walls too... so Eugene Coffee Company on the corner of 18th and Chambers, 1-5pm! Hope to see you local folks there... photos soon!

The Coaster Project

Last night I looked at my old blog entries for last March and realized I have been working on this project with coasters for over a year!
I'm still excited about it and still making the little buggers... I think there are over 50 of these two sided paintings finished now. That's halfway to my original goal of 100.
I've spent the day framing and getting stuff ready to put up at my friend's coffee shop. This sounded like a good idea when it was just an idea, but I forgot how much work it is to frame a bunch of work. I have cheap Ikea frames that look good, but they have this masonite backing that sheds little brown scraps onto the glass. Been making me a bit nuts.
I have to have it done by Monday so at least this activity is time limited.
Hope everyone is gearing up for a nice weekend, the sun is out here and for my purposes no matter how cold it might get I declare spring has come!

Support the most import element of the painting

After the wild color of yesterday I am once again taken back to the wise question my friend L. asks: "What are you trying to do"? These are my words. L's make a lot more sense.

I'm copying her words here because they sure helped me and might help someone else...

"The painting is not too colorful if you want that much color. You really love colorful color, lots of saturation. If you want the color to serve your intent then I'm not sure what your intent is because the color is the most dominant element in the work. The black line drawing sits on top of color in a cartoon way. Cartoon way in the sense of black line making things look flat. Please tell me why you originally liked the black line drawing? "

So... answering L's question what I really liked about the painting and the reason I wanted to make them in the first place was to enjoy the quirky, sad, odd feeling the lines gave me. And I realize that the color does not support my intention and detracts from the line quality of the drawing. I need murky color that creates the feelings I want to create.

"My suggestion is to leave the painting as you have it and start again allowing the figure drawing to be dominant. Come back to the painting some other time, or not. I keep thinking of your little silk screen with the little, almost not there, girl in one corner--that is right on. I can really see her and see why you love her.

The drawing that you have is very nice and it conveys a lot of information all by itself, especially with the transfer method. Allow other areas to support it. Another suggestion is to just dig out your paints and go crazy painting color, forget about subject matter. Have a great time using yummy color. Something happens when you use paint and I THINK MAYBE it is because in your mind paint is different than printmaking. Somehow paint should be more colorful when, in fact, it is all the same pigment. "

Oh, genius teacher L. I hope you don't mind telling me this over and over... to pick out the most important element in the painting, and have the rest support that.... what an ongoing lesson for me to learn. I sure am grateful for your help all these years.

so, this one is a little closer, but still not there for me. I feel ready to start again using different subtle color! Can't wait. I love, love, love the puzzle of learning when I make art.

An Alien Birthday Cake?

These photos are a little brighter than the painting, but yep it's a color fest. I love my job, I'm grateful for my job, but all I want to do is PAINT. There are three more of these kind of paintings in the works. I have NO IDEA if this is a "good" or "bad" painting, but the process (thank you teachers) of painting it made me really happy.
Feedback por favor, ok if you don't like it, just tell me why.
and... doesn't it seem like there are little aliens coming out of the birthday cake?

Sharing: Simon and Curzie

Curzie the cat loves this chair. And Simon loves Curzon. He's beside himself with longing whenever the cats come close. Ginger thinks it's because the cats are more his size, but it's more than that, true adoration, with a little sniff and lick when he can get them!

I spent the last four days at the coast with rain and wind and today, brilliant sunshine. Our goal was to get the pellet stove working so friends can use the house. Mission accomplished! (we hope). After cleaning and some ministrations from a nice but strange man I called the pellet stove psychologist all seems to be in order.

Great coastal times...
1. Maple danish and coffee at the Green Salmon
2. Walk on the beach with Monty the greyhound, we saw a huge rainbow over the ocean
3. Delicious lunch of fish and chips at a new place in Yachats
4. Painting, I had so much fun painting and I'm pretty excited about what is happening. Post tomorrow...
5.Wandering around Old Town Florence

Yawn... It's only 6:45pm and I'm ready for bed! More tomorrow!