Rambling and Wanting

These are my little bottles of acrylic ink. The girls (k and l) introduced me to them and I have never looked back. Fluid, transparent, layering, easy mix.

My current project of coaster paintings transports easily in one large paper bag. I set up a great little studio space on the kitchen table at the coast this weekend. I have 20 coasters done now (40 small paintings) so am moving right along to my goal of 100.

The coast house looked wonderful to me although a bit neglected as we haven't been there to primp and clean for so many weeks. This fall we will have owned it for 5 years. We are part of our neighborhood, our full time neighbors are glad to see us when we come. K. and L. had us over for dinner, we had a good visit with them. We are the only gay couple on the street, but if it matters no one lets on. The sun came and went, not too cold and the dogs loved being on the sand. Monty met a cute girl greyhound and literally danced in excitement. In less than two weeks we go back...this time for a whole week!

The more I paint the more I want to paint. I'm itching to do something different that I haven't done before. I want a big stretch of time. I want to watch charcoal pencil run into acrylic paint and make a blurry/sharp line.

I want, I want, I want.

Angel Dog

I don't make the claim that Monty is an angel lightly. (It seems to me that the angel kingdom is much more likely to be populated with animals rather than humans.) Monty is simply the sweetest, most responsive creature I have ever met. Monty (Montero) came from the greyhound rescue. After my welsh corgi Max died I went reluctantly with Ginger up to the Portland racetrack to get him. I wasn't "ready" for another dog so soon after Max. I was so wrong. When we got to the kennel we could hear all the dogs barking which is so interesting because we have only heard Monty bark a couple of times in the last 3 years. He is a silent fellow. Anyway, the volunteer brought him out, 3 years old, arms and legs flying all over, jumping up and down with joy to be out of his kennel. G and I looked at each other and wondered if this wild creature was for us. The minute we started to walk he settled down and has been the perfect gentleman ever since.

Greyhounds live in cages stacked on top of each other and are in those cages 21 out of 24 hours a day. Most greyhounds have a serious injury sometime in their career. (Monty broke a foot). There are never enough adoptive homes for greyhounds. If a hound doesn't do well they can be sold to Mexican racetracks where conditions are much worse. If I had lived through that life I do not know if I could be as kind and sweet to all as Monty. To bring a creature home who has never lived in a house, does not know how to climb stairs and doesn't understand toys and treats breaks your heart.

But not for long... Monty is 6 now. He loves sleeping on couches and beds. He's learned to lick a yogurt container (yum). He can eat a cookie without it falling out of his mouth in crumbs. He climbs stairs like a pro. He loves squeaky toys and throws them in the air with joy. He loves the children in his life. He shares the bed with 2 cats and Simon the fuzzball.

Monty is my hero. And he is an angel. Just look at the picture.

A good day

My studio is improving day by day and some of my favorite objects are now on display. These are the invisible women. They all have a faint number 4 on their chests. They are worshiping at the picture of Ken. Poor invisible women, they don't know that Ken is gay and would have done anything to escape Barbie and run, run, run to San Francisco where he could design clothing for his own line.

Thank you K. and Michele, and Dean for the wonderful wishes. They made me feel so good and so lucky to have support and love in my world.

I had a pretty good day today at work. I had to present an update on our hospital's suicide precaution policy to my work group. They are all such dedicated nurse educators in departments like medicine, and post-surgery, and oncology. They deal with tubes and monitors and things I (as a psych RN) know nothing about. But when I gave my little PowerPoint presentation today I decided to illustrate it with_______??? You got it, what do you illustrate a topic like suicide with? Anyway, I decided to Google colors and I made the slide show all one color: yellow. It was full of yellow objects and yellow type and it was so entertaining the message may have been lost, but it was fun to make people smile.

Happy Anniversary, Ginger and Janice!

Today is our 20th anniversary. It's the only anniversary date I can remember. It was our anniversary before domestic partnerships, before our backyard wedding, before getting married on the steps of the Multnomah Courthouse. Twenty years ago we choose our date and we alone remember what happened that night... Our backyard wedding and getting married in an outpouring of civil liberty were pivotal moments in my life. But... April 21st is my lesbian anniversary, it is the anniversary of where my love for G. started.

This photo was taken by Kathy Buckalew, friend and artist. We were so young!!! And skinny!!! I remember the day the photo was taken, we were at WomanShare and we sat in the meadow and I was so happy. I knew then that she was the love of my life. I always say "t.l." (short for true love).

I can't imagine anyone else I would have wanted to spend the last 20 years with. Happy Anniversary my love. Let lesbian love ring out strong and true. Let our friends continue to support us as they have, and let us support them in their loving. How grateful and proud I am to be your girlfriend, forever.

Attitude

I finished the novel A. lent me. The Other Sister is about the Boleyn family. Fiction, but set in the era when being born female meant you could be accused of anything. Sometimes books exhaust me. Jumping to the end, of course they chop off Ann's head because she is a witch and the reason Henry cannot sire an heir. Now that set me to thinking...

I on the other hand, only have a bad attitude this weekend. I am feeling totally tired and depressed. This is odd for me as I have flown through weeks and weeks of the house not selling, not having our bed here, and being on the world's strictest money diet to maintain both houses in a pretty good mood. Attitude is everything.

It's a little better today. It's hard to be all gloom and doom when you wake up to snow dusted everywhere. I made a tortilla and black bean casserole for dinner tonight. I took a nap, and now I'm going to work on tidying up the dining room a little.

I have new music to listen to from the library. Thanks K and Michele. Good suggestions. OK, I can manage this. At least I don't live in 15th century England.

Yawn, Friday morning

Tired this am... last night we had a great Indian dinner with S. and D. They were visiting family in Portland and we met them halfway in Salem. Downtown Salem does not look much changed from the 60's! I have a few favorite places there: India Palace (the food is soooo good), The Ladies Auxiliary Shop (great thrift shopping), the antique mall, and my big fave is the Halle Ford Museum of Art. It's small, but a GEM.

Thought I would post my cemetery photos today. Our new house is in the middle of suburbia. One day Monty and I came upon a big wrought iron fence and we decided to investigate. Surprise! One of the 5 pioneer cemeteries in Eugene. Many markers of folks who came via the Oregon Trail. It's full of old lilacs and daffodils. And it's a fenced place for Monty to run. He plays steeplechase, running around and jumping over everything.

I never would have made it over the Oregon Trail. I'm just having trouble waking up after too much Indian food...

G is home!!

Ginger is home and this is one of the places she has been, Alligator Point, Florida. It really is this beautiful on the Gulf of Mexico.

G. is really tired, and she had a good time with her family. It was fun watching her unpack, she only brought home a few quarts of BBQ sauce!

Simon was beside himself to see his person. I am glad to see my person. It was fun to be alone, but not for too long.

Maybe I can stop eating cookies now that I have someone to cook for and report to on my quest for healthy eating...

I'm happy my girlfriend is home...

Shopping on Etsy

Ok, for those of you who have not shopped on Etsy I need to convert you immediately. And I don't mind doing that because it's a way to pass along the riches my younger friends send me to on the internet. (thanks l and k)Everything is handmade, from zines to ceramics, paintings and sock monkeys. Each night I type "Gocco" into the search engine and scan the latest work. This is how I came across one one of the best blogs I have ever read, and how I ended up ordering the two very wonderful prints shown here: www.wertzateria.wordpress.com. And, the silkscreen artist who creates this work is a friend of someone I love and admire, Janet ! So, small world out there. The beehive hairdo is paste paper. Can't wait until these Gocco gems arrive.

And if you have not perused Etsy go to: www.Etsy.com

Message to Dean: love you lots, glad you and G. had fun. Thanks for reading!

Prince, Divas, Sunshine and Painting

What is it about music and painting? And why does a nice lesbian girl like me have such a fixation with the music of Prince? His music makes me want to dance while I paint. Music somehow explains and informs color in a way that bypasses the will of the painter. When I have a paintbrush in my hand and certain music playing it's like the music has a direct connection to what my body is doing that totally bypasses my brain. Interesting. Someone must understand the psychology and physiology of this.

And it isn't just Prince. It's divas. I love divas. (Except Celine Dion for some reason). Cher, Mariah Carey, Shania Twain (I love country music too). Isn't life rich?

I am so far behind the times. I got to hang out with my 11 year old friend a few weeks ago and we spent a lot of time watching music videos. It was so fun to watch them on TV.

And it's promised by the weather world that the sun will shine the next three days. I am so happy about this. I have so many things I want to do and sun will give energy.

So, if you are reading this and you like to art, tell me what your favorite music to art to is. And K. and Dean, thanks for all the music you send me.

The giant asian pear

Behold the giant asian pear! (and you thought it might be a grapefruit). While browsing in our local healthy store M. came upon this wonder of nature and had to have it. And luckily I had my camera to snap the entire momentous occasion.

M. is one of the best artists I know. She approaches creating with confidence and focus. At age 11 she draws better than I do. And she has this wonderful talent to work in more than one dimension: bakery decorating, paper sculpture, and clay just to name a few. I really like working with her in the studio and we haven't done that for a while. Maybe she will send me some photos of her work, or her comics and I can put them in my blog.

Maya's mom is my best friend, which is sort of an old fashioned term, but dear to me. Best friend means I can be all of myself, yucky, cranky, judgemental and we can laugh about it. And my best friend likes to stare at plants as much as I do. She likes TV as much as I do, and she reminds me to eat vegetables now and then. And did I say she is a really good mom?

Hi M. and A. I love you both!

Pink snow

I have known this flowering cherry tree for about 20 years. It sits in a small garden area just off the psychiatric unit at our local hospital. Each year at the end of it's blooming season visitors, staff and patients gaze out of the hallway windows and talk about the "pink snow".

One year the gardeners pruned it so severely I thought it might not live. I think the gardeners thought such a big tree shouldn't grow in such a small space. But this year it is robust and huge. Clumps of flowers grow right out of the trunk. On a sunny afternoon I watched hummingbirds feed.

I think this tree is very happy this year. It's wild and creative growth reflects the growth of those of us who work inside the psychiatric unit. We are also flourishing in an environment where there is enough light, fertilizer and faith to effect change. Sometimes this job really wears me out. But this week it feels like spring, like creation, and like it all really matters, which of course it does...

A daunting task...

It is freezing today, or so it seems and rain keeps falling. J. my neighbor and I went to Johnson Brothers nursery to buy two trees for the yard here. Even though my teeth were chattering, the shapes of all the different evergreens were inspiring. It was great fun. I really like J., it's nice getting to know someone new.

Our house still hasn't sold and it's hard to not be discouraged. I want to paint and fix and get a new sofa and we just can't do that until the old house sells. I've been telling myself this is my opportunity to finish going through all my stuff and THAT is the daunting task.

Before we moved I worked in a studio that was a whole little house, tons of room. And although I love my new studio space it's much smaller. Tossing is not in my nature, and yet toss I must. Last night I filled 3 boxes for St. Vincent's.

I wrote G. an email about the inter species napping that happens around here in the afternoon. Me in bed with Monty taking up half the bed and Oscar the multi-toed cat and Simon the bichon under the covers in my arms (the same arm mind you!) Simon always wants to lick the cats, but is usually not quite brave enough to try. Today he gave Oscar's head a washing, but was quite puzzled when he licked the kitty's ear and it bent over. He's look at me as if to say: "now what do I do?" I just get such a kick out of the cats and dogs getting along so well.

OK, enough blogging, time to toss some more unneeded items!

missing g.

i miss my girlfriend. She's in Florida for two weeks with her family. funny i almost don't recognize her in this photo because she has had red/maroon hair for a while now!

g. is the love of my life. true love. the chance that came later in my thirties. i didn't believe in falling in love. i was wrong.

once i asked a wise person how you sustain a long term relationship, how you keep it going when things get bumpy. she said: "one day at a time forever". this is very good advice.

g and i are one day at a time forever going on 20 years this month.

g. if you read this have lots of fun with your family and good shell finding walks on the beach.

Jasper

This is Jasper. He is my friends T. and K.'s dog. I met him right after he came home from the animal shelter. He was a medium sized guy, missing a lot of hair on his back, and sweet. One year later when Jasper came to visit I didn't recognize him. He weighs about 120 pounds, has feet the size of softballs, and a glossy black coat. He is still sweet.

I didn't realize the plight of black dogs in shelters. I didn't realize that they often linger months and months, or don't find homes at all.

Jasper loves everyone, including Monty. Monty, a bit of a prissy greyhound does not like wet kisses across the face. Poor Jasper, I have seen him sneak up to Monty while Monty is snoozing on the couch and try to lick his toes. And Simon growls and snarls at poor Jasper who can't quite figure out what the 14 pound fuzzball is doing.

It was a beautiful day today. I drove home from Portland, slept a little and then planted pansies. G is in Florida and I am on my own, but I already have plans for the weekend!

Hi Dean if you are reading this, hi A. and kisses to G. your puppy misses you.